thoughts of a mind

Monday, April 12, 2004

For no real reason, other than to escape the tyranny of the phrase "cheesetoasties", my blog is moving house.

So, if for any reason you have this page bookmarked, apply Tippex to your screen (White Out if you're otherwise), and amend to:

TEMPORARILY REMOVED

If I figure out a way of copying across the archives, I shall. Otherwise this will just remain here, dormant and rotting.

I doubt I'll post any more often for doing this, but I'm attempting to create some sort of internet synergy for myself that won't result in people('s) saying "Mmm, I LOVE cheese toasties!!!!!11one".

See you all over there. Help moving furniture greatly appreciated.

APOLOGIES - WHILE WE UNDERTAKE MAJOR WORKS, THE NEW BLOG WILL BE TEMPORARILY STUCK HERE:

cheese.cream.org

DON'T BOTHER BOOKMARKING IT - WON'T BE THERE FOR LONG

johnw@cream.org 4/12/2004 05:43:00 PM [+]

Coming live from Baltimore. Well, clearly not live. I'm not writing these words at the very moment you read them. It's impractical.

I've so far failed to solve any Homicide: Life on the Streets style murders. But I did see the court to which the characters in the show are so often visiting, and squealed like the pathetic fanboy I truly am.

I arrived into the States on the opening day of the baseball season, which made me very happy. And saw 'my team', the Cubs, win their opener. However, I can't seem to avoid the things of England that I expect to be safely far away. Turned on ESPN2 today to see if there was a ballgame on, and discovered Arsenal vs Chelsea, with British commentary. So watched a quiz show presented by Donny Osmond. Now tonight, I turn my hotel room radio on, and hear a British accent. Then realise they're telling me British news. Currently the sport, hearing about cricket. I'm a little confused by this, unsure if I've uncovered a mistake in some elaborate hoax. Perhaps America is a giant version of the Truman Show, elaborate and complicated scrolling sets, on an island, probably off the coast of Scotland. Someone has left a radio behind that hasn't been properly doctored. It's BBC news! They just said. It must be true.

It would explain the overacting of one of the characters in this giant creation. The cab driver this evening decides to take us on an unofficial tour of Baltimore, announcing random facts about buildings as we passed. He then stopped at the top of a hill, and told us we should get out as were a few hundred yards from our restaurant, and there was a great view here. Perhaps we might want to take photos. The view was fne, but did reveal that the few hundred yards between ourselves and the restaurant was made of water. So we then had to get back in and go back the way we'd come, 45 minutes late for our meal.

Journey back, after about 50 yards, someone reverses into his van at some lights. There is a long and complicated kerfuffle as the two drivers attempt to communicate. When we finally leave, our half hour journey home is a constant recollection of this event, over and over, ever more painstaking and emotional. That we were all in his cab while it happened didn't appear to prevent the need for this. And then as we've nearly arrived back at the hotel, the very best description:

"It's like a cake. A really beautiful cake, that you've made. And then someone sticks a finger in it... It's tragic."

It's hard to disagree.

johnw@cream.org 4/07/2004 04:19:00 AM [+]

I've long been slightly bothered by the way we celebrate ineptitude in children's art work.

When a five year old brings home a splodge of blue on a piece of paper and declares that it's daddy, the response is one of utter delight and congratulations. "Well done! It's beautiful! Let's stick it to the fridge so that everyone can see it."

However, if a five year old is to cry, "FIVE PLUS TWO IS SEVENTY THREE" we immediately correct him or her, and help to explain why it's not. Or if they say "B.. O.. F.. THAT SPELLS CAT" (five year olds shout everything, to my knowledge), we will gently reason that it doesn't and offer a more recognised spelling.

So either we start exclaiming utter delight and joy when our offspring pronounces Wales to be the capital of Africa, or we point out when a painting is complete rubbish, or give a lecture on impressionism and surrealism.

I'm not arguing that we should express utter disgust at the pathetic mess they present, however funny that would be, but could we not be positively constructive?

Because, frankly, this is utterly ridiculous.

johnw@cream.org 3/17/2004 12:24:00 PM [+]

New Change the World up on Big Robot at last.

It might begin on some slightly familiar territory, but worry not, it moves on quickly.

As usual, check out everything on the site. People are showing you their creative side.

johnw@cream.org 3/13/2004 10:57:00 PM [+]